I have been meaning to sit down and document some of the things that have been happening of late, but quite honestly, I have been very affected by homesickness and loneliness and I am certain no-one cares to hear about that. But since this is for my mom, I will write down some thoughts.
I have learned so many things in Italy. I had thought that the most valuable lessons would naturally be my increased knowledge of culture and language. Instead, it has made more focused on my own personal growth, or the growth that I have discovered I have needed to make. As someone who is used to the supportive arms of the family wrapped closely around her, I have struggled to do things on my own...for the first time. Even as it was, I arrived and William had made sure I had some friends on this side of the Atlantic who would look out for me (enter David and Courtney). However, even while living in this wonderful world of travel opportunities and sights to see, it has been a rough adjustment.
My boss calls them good Naples days vs bad Naples days. I have been having a whole bunch of the bad variety; mainly because I have missed home. Waking up in the Navy Lodge bed makes confused on certain mornings when I would have sworn, not seconds before, that I was home in Maryland. My apartment that I had a contract on failed its first inspection so I am still living the high life of temporary lodging. My car finally arrived after its various detours and barring the scraping of the decals I had to do when it arrived, it has been the greatest addition of freedom to my life.
On a recent trip to Sorrento with MWR, I made one of those discoveries that I have perhaps always known, but almost had to relearn: I am always evolving. I was the lone single person on the trip, surrounded by happy spouses traveling together with friends, and families from out of town taking the day hop to the Amalfi coast. As I clarified with the "tour" guide that there was actually no tour, but it more of a self guided type of deal, I was forced to explore absolutely on my own. I know this sounds ridiculous that a 26 year old active duty female was shocked to be left alone with herself, but I have not often been forced out of my comfort zone like that. As I walked down the quaint streets lined with fruit vendors, limoncello stands, cameos sold by old men who told me I was the most beautiful woman to ever enter their shop, and old grandmamas making lace tablecloths by hand, I took myself on a journey of self discovery. I am doing ok. On my own.
It's been a process and I have the glorious benefit of new friends (none of whom work shift work incidentally) that I occasionally get to see, and I am doing just fine. I have made mistakes, cried tears of frustration struggling to find my place here both personally and physically, but in the end when I open my eyes every morning, I am alive and in a beautiful new place.
I know the epistles of lovely sites I have seen and chronicles of various jaunts around Naples make for much more interesting reading. But as I said before, this is for my mom. And I love you, Mom.
I promise much more lighthearted entries to come in the future.
